The Toasted Scimitar: Happy New Year

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Happy New Year

6 comments:

Lady Glamis said...: Happy New Year to you, too!

*throws confetti*; January 1, 2009 at 8:58 AM
Laurie said...: Thanks Lady Glamis!

Anyone have any New Years Resolutions to share?

Uh...*ahem* I think I can speak for most of my co-bloggers that our resolution is to try to be more consistent with our posts this year. :); January 1, 2009 at 11:45 AM
Marian said...: Happy New Year to everyone at the Toasted Scimitar!

My resolution for this year is to query until I either get an agent or run out of them, and in the latter case I'll start querying publishers.

Never surrender! Never say die!; January 3, 2009 at 5:49 AM
Angela said...: Hope you guys have a ton of success in 2009!; January 4, 2009 at 6:39 PM
Yunaleska said...: Can I just say *squeeeeee* cos I saw the comment about Lisa Shearin on the back of her bookmark! I went (in my head cos I don't think my parents would have appreciated me interrupting their tv viewing)

"I know these people!" So yay to you lot! :D; January 9, 2009 at 4:31 AM
Laurie said...: Oh my, I didn't even notice that quote on the back, Yunaleska (and I wrote the review). :) Thanks for bringing that to our attention.

Laurie; January 10, 2009 at 3:52 PM

Mission Control: Laurie

Laurie is the Science Fantasy & Romance inclined of the group, and most of her work takes place on another planet, in space, or involves time travel or a paranormal element. You’re not destined to meet an elf, demon or vampire in any of her stories, but there might be a dragon—or a reasonable facsimile. Laurie lives in New Mexico, but was raised in Michigan. She's a government analyst and a Thoroughbred breeder in her “alternate reality.” She enjoys tormenting her (crazy) co-bloggers with tirades about the evil of the terrible -ly adverbs, and spends her days hunting them down and stamping out their existence.

The Dreaded One: Ardyth

Ardyth, aka The Dreaded Critter is a fanged, story-life blood sucking creature who loves to totally shred other people's plots, steal other people's characters and hold them for ransom, and generally manipulate her fellow authors. Severely addicted to stories but highly opinionated, Ardyth prefers fairy tales, slipstream, or fantasy with unusual elements.
When she's not busy being evil, Ardyth hides her fangs, combs her golden locks, spreads sunscreen on her white as milk skin, and writes children's novels.

Resident Geek: Skip

Skip is a Fantasy writer who often ends up writing Science Fiction accidentally. She can't seem to violate the laws of physics, just biology. Her characters would attest that she's an Evil Author, as they often suffer from traumatic pasts and psychological problems, which they are forced to relive and confront in the course of their novels. As a reader, skip enjoys overidentifying with angsty characters, reading between the lines too much, being suspicious of secondary characters, and inventing literary symbolism. In real life, skip spends too much time with physics, computer science, and other geeky things such as reading about bees in Latin, rolling d20 dice, complaining about tautological arguments, and stabbing things with blunt objects (virtually, of course).

Evil Overlord: Merc

Merc is the resident tyrant and an Evil Author who delights in tormenting her characters for the good of the story. She writes in the fantasy and horror genres, with a smattering of sci-fi, all with either a dark or twisted or sarcastic edge. Merc is easily entertained, prone to excessive rants, an unashamed villain enthusiast, and adores her ferrets. With the disguise as a friendly, polite and hard-working barista so convincing to the mundane world, Merc is pleased that no one has discovered the zombie armies she trains in her back yard in preparation for world domination.

The Feral Biologist: Spartezda

A fantasy writer, Spartezda longs for the day science can give her antlers and retractable claws. In the meantime she stalks the night as a grammar guerrilla and spelling vigilante, her trail marked by bleeding pages and mauled cliches. She is easily fascinated and loves stories with wild imagination—the stranger, the better. No idea is safe from her gleeful irreverence. Should you encounter her in the wild, use a pair of earrings or other shiny objects to distract her attention while you flee.

The Evil Author"s Dictionary

character (n) 1. A pesky individual who will not stop bothering the author to have his/her story told. 2. Background fodder to be slain when needed.

climax (n) 1. The point in a story where an evil author displays their full talents in manipulating the hearts and minds of both characters and readers.

conflict (n) 1. What an author inflicts on characters for entertainment.

hero (n) 1. A character with improbable good luck, of which (s)he is infuriatingly unaware. 2. Someone who only succeeds by authorial intervention.

reader (n) 1. A victim who becomes hooked on a particular story or set of characters.

torture (v) 1. The most likely way to get your MC to do what you want.

villain (n) 1. The most interesting character in any book, forced into defeat by meddlesome authors.

The Toasted Scimitar

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Happy New Year

6 comments:

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Mission Control: Laurie

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Resident Geek: Skip

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The Feral Biologist: Spartezda

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